Update: My friend Rob H. suggested I slide it, which worked great. Now I have the CPU separated from the heatsink. 

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So, I disassemble the mobo to send back to Asus, and the CPU will NOT come out. I disconnected everything, but it wouldn’t move.

I know about the arm/lever you’re supposed to lift to get the CPU out of the socket, but its blocked by some plastic that’s there to hold down the heatsink/fan combo.

Seems the CPU stuck to the heatsink. I eventually pulled it out, but I might have bent the pins some (see picture below). I assume I can use a razor (or something else REALLY flat) to separate the CPU from the heatsink. What do you think?